Thursday, May 5, 2016

The Runaway

A message was sent to me from a friend.  Yes I said friend.. I actually have some.  She knows my struggles, she knows my struggle with friendship and trust.  She knows my perception on friendship.  She knows that when things get tough, Christi tends to walk....and that means out of the door! Out of your life even.  She knows my view on "me, myself, and I." and how my thinking goes in regards to my team.  My team of me, and me only.  She knows I'm a runner, and not just on roads.  You know the movie runaway bride... I often refer to myself as the runaway.  That's me!  The runaway!  It's just what I do.  I know why. I've been told why.  I've been told it's not right, but I can't shake it for some reason. I am an out of sight, out of mind girl.  When my heart gets stepped on, or I think it gets stepped on, I exit, and often times....I never look back.  She and I have had long talks about this, and well, she's just been great.  This is a piece of what she sent me today.....
                     
          "A Manifesto for You, Friend
I will be a safe place. I won’t share your confidences.
I will talk about you behind your back, and I will use words that build you up and show you off.
I will defend your reputation rather than contribute to its demise.
I will show humility through encouragement, and do my best to let my actions reflect the way Jesus sees you.
I will allow a united spirit of completion rather than a divisive spirit of competition enter our friendship.
I will pray for you when you ask me to.
I will be accountable and trustworthy ~ my yes is a yes.
I will be for you and not against you, even when what I say may sting a bit.
I will be there to share in both hard and good, to divide the sorrow and double the joy.
I will give your kids extra grace when they are ornery in front of me. And when they are having a moment, the only thought I’ll entertain is it must be your turn for the hard day.
I will forgive you when you make a mistake. While I can’t control how you behave towards me, I can control how I behave towards you. And I’ll do my level best to err on the side of grace and love. Because heaven knows I need to receive it as much as I need to give it."

With that said...the running community is where I've found the most amazing friendships.  We come from all walks of life, with all different backgrounds.  I've learned that distance doesn't matter.  Some of my greatest friends live hours away.  They are happy for my happiness, and sad for my sadness.  They can tell when I'm down and are quick to shoot me a message to make me laugh.. as I do them!   Slowly but surely I'm learning to breathe again.  Sometimes I make big mistakes, but  people are still there.  I can't figure out why they don't run lol. It's those friends that grab you by the reigns and pull you back.  Those are the ones that are teaching me how to be a friend again.  They are quite special because I'm difficult.  I know I'm difficult.  I lace those shoes up these days, and run.  I run off the thoughts, the pain, the frustrations, and it's great to have people right beside you, some with the same issues, to help you breathe.  

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